The whites of my eyes (its coming out time)

So I’m going home tonight to come out to my parents and to say I’m shitting myself is a mild and massive understatement.
To be frankly honest I’ve never been so scared in my whole life, its 10am, I’m in work and my heart is already going.

I’ve decided that I’m g’na give them the letter and let them read it with me there, I think if I try to say it I’ll just pass out.
All last night and this morning I’ve let the outcome play around in my head (trust me I’m trying to stop it, but its hard), I’m just trying to keep positive.
And then after I’ve done this there are so many friends to tell. My God parents, extended family.
Do I tell them all individually in person or by email, or do I just tell a few and let the rumour mill do its job, or do I just update facebook and let it run wild. The thing is I don’t want to offend people by not telling them in person, but I can’t take the stress of it.

Anyway here’s the letter.

Dear Mum and Dad,

I’m not sure where to start (or even where to
finish).

So the first thing I want to say is that I love you
both, you both mean the world to me and I couldn’t ask for better parents. You
are both real role modals and I’m always proud that I’m Chris Smith’s or Louise
Smith’s son.

What I’m about to tell you may be a real shock to the
system and I completely understand if you don’t agree or if you just need space.

I’m gay.

I have a boy friend who I love dearly.

And before you ask no, its not PD.

Since last august
life has been hell. The combination of coming out to myself, moving to London
away from my support structure, and trying to reconcile my faith has nearly
killed me.

I now have a boyfriend, Mr C, who I have been seeing
for 3 - 4 months and I love him dearly.

I can completely
understand that this is a lot to deal with and take in, and there’s a lot more
to explain, but lets just do this one step at a time.

I don’t know
what else to say really.

I completely understand if you don’t want
to talk to me for a while, or ever. But I will always love you and I’m always so
thankful that you are and have been my parents.

If you need any
counselling organised or want any reading material then just say and I’ll get it
organised.

If you have any questions then just ask me, I won’t be
offended by anything you ask me.

Love Dave